There are a lot of opinions, projections and advice passed around – as someone who has chosen to live in the public eye, I am no stranger to scrutiny, and sometimes it can be overwhelming for all of us. Whilst important conversations are often uncomfortable, sometimes we all need to be reminded of positive ‘growth mindset’ thoughts to help us on our own journey. I’ve found a lot of clarity, comfort and power in the below reminders and I hope they bring you some of the same.
FIND THE POSITIVE
We’ve all heard people utter those really unhelpful words: Just Be Positive. I think we can all agree that this is super unhelpful in hard times, but they aren’t completely wrong. The issue comes in the suggestion – and frankly, Karen, if I could make the switch to positivity so easily, I would – OK? But I have found in my own hard times, that the drive to keep searching and waiting for the positives of the situation brings its own sense of calm to my life. It’s strange isn’t it… to think of looking for a positive during times as tough as potentially losing someone you love, but I promise you there are often small, sometimes hard to see positive learnings that come from these heart-breaking times. Perhaps this loss taught you what real love is all about? Perhaps you have a new found respect for the time you have with your loved ones? Or maybe you learnt to cherish those memories a little more preciously? No matter what, the silver linings and opportunities to grow are always there and whilst they never take away the pain, they teach us some important lessons.
WHERE TO SEEK FEEDBACK
In a world where feedback can be left in a matter of seconds, it’s always important to have a tight grasp on the type of feedback you should be taking and from whom. In short, the only feedback you need to be taking is from those whom you respect. All of the noise which can so freely be vocalised in today’s society is none of your business because it (quite frankly) has nothing to do with you. It’s nice to think we know everything there is to know about whom someone is and what they represent- but the truth is, we just don’t know unless we are an intrinsic part of someone’s inner circle. Save that headspace for your close friends and family, those who make up the network of incredible people you have chosen to surround yourself by. They are all wonderful people who will be there to help guide you through life just fine.
NEVER STOP LEARNING
If there’s one thing I could tell my younger self right now, it’s that Maybelline True Matte Mousse is not your friend. But whilst I was there, I’d also tell myself that contrary to what the cool kids at school say, learning is fun and make sure you never stop doing it no matter who may scoff at you in the process. This time last year I opened up a packet of seeds unaware of the Pandora’s Box I was opening. Instead of releasing evil into the world, what was inside this seed packet would enrich my life in ways that I never could have imagined. I learned about soils, growing conditions and companion planting, to name but a few of the wonderful (and slightly cryptic) terminologies that you learn about when starting your kitchen garden. Perhaps the biggest lesson has been how wonderful learning something new can be, mistakes and all (lol, you should see the size of my iceberg lettuce right now, it’s pitiful) and the list of things I want to learn is only growing.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
There’s a lot of talk surrounding “be kind” right now- the message is focused around being kind towards others, which I of course fully support. I think the message that I would like you to focus on today is being kind to yourself – especiallyif you are a woman. How do you speak to yourself on a daily basis? Is there a lot of “You’re such an idiot”, “You didn’t try hard enough”, “You look disgusting” or “You don’t deserve what you have”? If yes, honestly you aren’t alone because I’ve been there and it’s so easy to spiral into a world of negative thought patterns about yourself. It’s a slippery slope which can escalate quite quickly so it’s really important to be conscious of your own thoughts and how you speak to yourself on a daily, hourly basis. Catch those thoughts before they have a chance to land and remind yourself of some of the wonderful things about yourself. Perhaps it’s the care you have for others, perhaps it’s your killer sense of humour or perhaps today you absolutely slayed your make up. Whatever your positive thoughts about yourself are, build on them, cement them, write them down and make sure you are hearing the wonderful things about yourself that you deserve to be told on the regular.