Why I’m thankful for the “hate forums” about me.

tiered dress10 tiered dress9 Well if that isn’t a controversial blog post title I don’t know what is. I believe it was over a year ago now that I first stumbled across a number of threads about me on the usual suspects when it comes to “hate forums”. It was horrible and it shook me to the core. That kind of mentality, where by you openly share and take enjoyment in belittling people online, anonymously might I add, is completely foreign to me and certainly not a trait my parents instilled in me as a child. After reading such vile things about myself, that night was the first night of what would become 6 months of vicious sleep anxiety.

So you can imagine how truly odd it is for me to be writing this post.

“That kind of mentality, where by you openly share and take enjoyment in belittling people online, anonymously might I add, is completely foreign to me”


Last week I wrote a post to raise a little awareness among bloggers old and new to how sometimes things can get a little close for comfort. It wasn’t about naming and shaming, pointing fingers or embarrassing anyone. I was genuinely shocked by how many people e-mailed thinking that the post was about them. But during all that, someone decided to drag up a thread about me that had died a very quick and quite death a long time ago.

I read that thread from beginning to end, but this time I had what seemed to be a fresh pair of eyes. A pair of eyes that was able to see past the childish remarks about how I look, the irrelevant assumptions and bitterness, and see what was actually being shared here. These people were sharing the way I came across as a person a long time ago as a child, and in turn that was reflecting on the person I am now. These people were sharing the things that others were too “nice” to say to my face. They were judging me openly, something that we all do quietly to some extent.

“Yes those outfits were hideous and No, nobody needs to take that many gym selfies.”


In the 5 minutes it took to read that thread with an open mind, I learnt more about how I came across and communicated who I am, than I had done in the last 5 years. And truth be told, I probably wasn’t the nicest of children growing up because being nice was the last thing on my mind (Perhaps one day I will share why), Yes those outfits were hideous and Correct, no body needs to take that many gym selfies.

Everyday I communicate who I am online. What I stand for, what I believe in and everything in between. I should be communicating who I am in the most accurate way possible and if people are still able to switch on their computer screens and type “She looks like a complete bitch!” then I’m not showing you what’s truly inside of me. The things I’m saying clearly aren’t reflecting what’s in my heart, my mannerisms clearly don’t reflect what I mean.

It’s never a nice experience to see such horrible things written about myself on the internet for all to see, and I certainly won’t ever be able to please everyone but if I can take all that negativity and turn it into something truly positive, the real winner in this is me.


This post was shot on the Olympus PEN E-PL7 & the 45mm lens.

Shop The Post

Dress – Boohoo     Gilet – The End Watford     Boots – Chloe     Bag – Chloe     Sunglasses – Valentino     Watch – Vector     Necklace – LoveSilver



  1. nueyork 31st August 2015 / 7:27 am

    I find moments like this so interesting, where you’re a little older and you understand things that shook your world in a more realistic, less earth-shattering way. I’m so glad you’ve decided to take the positive angle too, as I cannot even imagine what it’s like to have a forum page dedicated to you and it would take a lot to use it as a learning experience.

    I think something to keep in mind is that when you are a beautiful girl with nice things, people often are going to jump to the conclusion that you are stuck up and self absorbed, regardless of what your content reflects. As a new-ish reader, I have never had a negative impression of you in any way. I’m in awe over your stunning bags and outfits and love reading your more heart to heart pieces. I just hope you know that you are not giving this negative impression to 90% of the people who are reading your blog, and that you honestly do seem like a genuine, relatable person. x


    • lydia 31st August 2015 / 9:44 pm

      Hi Hun!
      Thank you so much, its definitely amazing to see something you’ve already seen but with a different mind set. Hindsight is a funny thing! I’m so glad that you take so much positivity from what I share and its always lovely to hear from a new(ish) reader although I know you comment regularly!
      Lydia x

  2. Jen Flower 31st August 2015 / 7:57 am

    Ah Lyds…

    I don’t think you need to re-evaluate what image you put across. You’re a happy, strong woman with huge ambition and the drive to go get your dreams. Who gives a, what other people think. I’m up against this too, albeit not so much online. I’ve learned that as long as I’m truly happy and fulfilled then I can be proud of myself and hold my head high.

    As a blogger you expose yourself in so many ways, but that’s what’s so beautiful about reading your posts.

    Those forums say a lot more about the jealous cowards that sit drowning in their anonymous shadows than you x

    • lydia 31st August 2015 / 9:45 pm

      Ah Jen! Thank you so much <3 x

    • lydia 31st August 2015 / 9:45 pm

      I feel like such a throwback right now 😉 xx

  3. Adele 31st August 2015 / 9:05 am

    Lydia, I was really shocked to read that there are hate forums about you. I’m pretty sure that it all stems from jealousy (it normally does from girls). I follow you on snapchat also & you can see that you are a lovely, genuine person. The best thing is to rise above it…what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! Btw I loooooveee your bag!
    Hugs Adele xoxo

    • lydia 31st August 2015 / 9:47 pm

      Hey Adele, you really do leave some lovely comments 🙂 it’s shocking that there are hate forums at all really. I’m so glad that you see me in that light, I’m thankful for things like snapchat that give me a voice (and a platform to be super silly on haha!)
      I love that bag too, I would marry it if I could. 😉

  4. Merel 31st August 2015 / 10:25 am

    Happy to hear you’re taking the positive out of it, but please remember there will always be people “hating” you for whatever reason (or for no reason whatsoever), mostly due to their own anxieties. Have you ever seen episodes of Catfish? Sometimes people featuring in that series act extremely horrible online and in the end, it’s always a result of their own private situation. So my advice would be not to take it too personal and please don’t feel like you need to change your output because of it (even though evaluating your output every once in a while is a good thing of course).

    • lydia 31st August 2015 / 9:50 pm

      Hey Merel,
      Oh catfish! yes I definitely have seen. Projecting your issues onto others is a defence mechanism, of course!
      I just feel like you ladies are my friends and this is where we get to discuss and interact and I hope that is what we are creating here!

      Lydia x

  5. Soph ridsdale 31st August 2015 / 10:42 am

    Lydia, girlllllll you shouldn’t have even had to write this post. Literally who even cares what the 0.00000001% of people think about you when the rest of the 99.99999999999999% freakin adore you. I’ve followed your blog from nearly the beginning and although I don’t comment all the time I absolutely love your style, mentality and openness about your struggles and the fact that you do own that s&*t when you know your rockin a bang on outfit. Anyone who can sit online and write nasty comments are just sad individuals n it happens to most beautiful girls so really feel flattered that people who’ve never met you still take time to read your posts n even if they comment absolute bull your still the winner when they’re wasting 5 mins of their lives slagging off your ‘hideous outfit’ they’re probably secretly your biggest fans. Hold that head high, do you think Marylin, Audrey, Jackie O and the likes gave a rats about their haters?

    Loads love mwah Sophie x

  6. Steph 31st August 2015 / 11:02 am

    I think a lot of the negative comments stem from jealousy and their own insecurities. I do not think for one second you should change anything about yourself or what you do because it has got you where you are today 🙂 let those people write comments about you as it is their time they’re wasting writing it and it falls on deaf ears any way. what’s a few nasty people compared to the huge amount that love you and love what you do. It’s hard to see the positive when you’re faced with the negative but flip it around and enjoy seeing your hard work being enjoyed by the people that actually appreciate it 🙂 xx

  7. Mic 31st August 2015 / 11:14 am

    I really don’t get it. Whenever I read one of your posts or watch one of your videos, the impression I always get is that you’re a really sweet person and that we’d get on really well if we met in ‘real life’ – and that’s not me being a sycophantic fan girl – I’m 37!! (I know, so, so old). My advice to you is just ignore the bile and concentrate on the opinions of those who matter to you.

    Chin up, you beautiful lady x

    Michelle x

  8. Cantara 31st August 2015 / 12:11 pm

    Lydia, at first I was shocked to read there are hate forums about you, but then it made sense. You are followed by thousands of people and unfortunately some of those people just won’t be happy with anything you do and will think it’s acceptable to be anonymous keyboard bashers. I’ve followed your blog since your Jeffery Campbell & disco pants days and I’ve seen you grow (that sounds weird seeing as I don’t really know you ha). I think what you are doing and what you have done is great, your blog, your style and your approach to things have come a long way. The fact that you can see a positive in the hate shows you are a far better person than those horrible people writing those horrible things. I suppose all I really wanted to say was keep your head up high and keep doing what you’re doing because I, and thousands of others, love what you do.

    Cantara x

  9. Jennifer 31st August 2015 / 12:21 pm

    Hey Lydia,
    We all have certain experiences that help us grow and we all have things that enable us to look back at our life and think ‘I could have done that different’
    However if these certain forums were not created, if you never had some people be negative about what you do- you may not have the drive and ambition to be true to you.
    I follow you on snap chat and Instagram and you come across so natural and so genuine.
    And what stands out most of all is that you are so beautiful but that shows from the inside to. You can’t buy that sort of stuff.

    Ignore all of the jealous people as they are on there own journey and have there own stuff to over come.

    As the saying goes-
    What you think of me is none of my business.


  10. Amber 31st August 2015 / 1:03 pm

    I remember the first time I saw you on your first day working in Topshop. I was having a crafty fag before work and glanced up as you walked past me (I was having a hung over day jeans and tee nothing special scraped back hair and little makeup) and I thought to myself dang she’s absolutely stunning! Why the hell had I chosen to not make an effort today of all days… I went into work put my personal belongings away and went down to start my shift where I was told I’d be training the new girl…YOU! From the moment we got chatting I knew we would get on like a house on fire. You threw yourself into helping me and giving sound fashion advice to the customers anything you did was with passion and dedication and there traits I’ve certainly seen in your blog as its developed and grown into something special over the past few years. I myself suffer terrible with anxiety and to read vile comments from an internet troll would most certainly knock me for 6 if people were to write childish comments like that about myself. You are a constant source of inspiration to me I love reading your blog posts, seeing your photos of

    • Amber 31st August 2015 / 1:06 pm

      Sorry my last post decided to post before I had a chance to proof read it and actually finish it.

      *your gorgeous clothes and most importantly listening to your advice on all subjects. You will always have more lovers than haters because you have built yourself out of nothing and most people have a real problem with people that follow there dreams.
      Keep your chin up and make sure you keep posting! I’m sure I speak for most people when I say I can’t wait to read your next blog post.

      Love Amber ????????

  11. JJ 31st August 2015 / 2:02 pm

    I challenge anyone to look back on their life and say they have always behaved impeccably. We grow and change as people…and I doubt anyone would be comfortable being judged on who they once were. Unfortunately when we put ourselves online it’s opening us up to other people’s opinions…positive or negative…and it’s sad that some people have nothing better to do with their lives than be keyboard warriors.

    Well done your for not letting it stop you doing what you do.. And for looking on ways to turn an unpleasant experience into a positive journey. Keep being you.

  12. Shen 31st August 2015 / 2:06 pm

    It say’s a lot about people who write these things, yes we all have negative moments were we judge someone but to post it online says a lot about a person’s character.
    However it says more about a person to take strength and positivity out of such an experience so you are definitely the winner.
    Keep on being you. I love reading your blog, your image, style and gym selfies.

  13. JadeAnn 31st August 2015 / 4:01 pm

    Hello Lydia,
    From the minute I started following you many months ago I felt that you were completely different to many of the other bloggers, IGers I followed. I love how positive you are and watching your Youtube videos really makes me think if I were to meet you in real life, we’d have a lot in common and really get on!
    Stay true to your lovely, vibrant self! There’s a reason why you can post positive happy things online and they can post hateful comments yet not say who they are, cowardly and truly shameful.
    It may not mean much but I really love watching your snapchats and keeping up with what you post on IG. Plus I have a lot of love for Lumi!
    Love x

  14. Cori 31st August 2015 / 4:58 pm

    Great post. It always amazes me that people take time to write such negative things about people. Especially trivial things like what you’re wearing on your blog. Who takes the time to write a forum about someone else, their clothing, and what they choose to write about?! Never pay any attention to that sort of negativity.

  15. Marshalee mcintosh 31st August 2015 / 6:34 pm

    I think this is a very interesting post. If I may add, you are fine the way you are. Some people are not as brave as you to make a wonderful living doing what they love but you are and they “hate it.”
    I am happy you are over those comments and I am sure you will handle them better now.
    There are some people that make horrible comments on my Instagram page and it hurts but they don’t know me.
    So I try not to focus on the negative comments.
    I love your blog and you inspire me as a new blogger.
    Thank you, keep going lydia.

  16. Lindsay 31st August 2015 / 8:06 pm

    Just think of all the people that love and adore you versus all the jealous a-holes that have nothing better to do than to drag others down into the depths of their own misery.

    Rise up and chin up girlfriend. xo

  17. Snigdha 31st August 2015 / 9:37 pm

    Stay the amazing and beautiful girl you are, there will always be people who are jealous of your success and insecure about themselves..x

  18. Nicki Ryder 31st August 2015 / 11:50 pm

    Hi Lydia,
    This post comes on the day I ‘launched’ my new blogsite. I’m 10 years older than you and started blogging in 2012 but then stopped last year. I found that the more readers/followers I had, the more exposed I felt and started writing with fear of what people might think of me until I eventually stopped altogether. When I decided to start again, like you, I felt like I had gained some perspective… I actually felt like I had grown up a little bit and I’m 37 – hence, I actually started a whole new site. Posting my new site this evening has filled me with dread as my job and most of the people I surround myself just do not get blogging at all and I fear they will think me self-indulgent but it’s what I love, so I’m going to do it anyway and stop being such a wuss! As for you, I have a mild girl crush on you – I’ve been following you on Instagram for a few months now and more recently on snapchat and you come across as really, really lovely, kind and generous. You can’t please everyone but rest assured, you are pleasing the majority. 🙂
    All the best,

  19. Lauren 1st September 2015 / 3:07 am

    Lydia, I don’t usually comment on blog posts, but felt compelled to do so on this one. As Taylor Swift says, ‘haters gonna hate, hate, hate’. I’ve only been following your blog for about a month (since seeing you nominated for a Bloglovin’ award) but I’m now a dedicated reader who enjoys each post, your refreshing honesty and incorporating some of the tips that work for you into my life too. I love that you love Australian fashion (I’m Australian)! I also follow you on Instagram and find your gym selfies totally motivating – just what I need to get my butt into gear and ready for southern hemisphere spring and summer! Am I ever going to look like you? No – I have a completely different body shape. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be inspired by you and your dedication to being as healthy and fit as possible. You’ve never come across as snooty or conceited – just happy, passionate about what you do and open minded to experience new things. You’re a fitness and fashion blogger – gym selfies and outfit posts are what you do for a living so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to readers that those are what we will see. These people with the time to create hate forums about you are the ones who need to change – not you. 🙂

  20. mahryska 1st September 2015 / 7:46 am

    have not really cared about “haters” for a very simple reason…everyone will always have their own opinion. i have one too. but i have always believed in bringing out the best in people, to see beyond the flaws, and look at what is good or what that person can bring to me and inspire me. and the same goes to the critique that i get. i try to embrace what i receive. learn from it and challenge myself with it. but at the same time, i dont let it get to me and never ever let it put me or my spirits down. because at the end of the day, if it does not make me a better person, it does not deserve my attention. so soldier on honey. with the hundreds who may not appreciate you, know that there are hundreds more who actually do. and that is what matters most 🙂
    kisses from dubai ?

  21. Mini 1st September 2015 / 10:13 am

    Dear Lydia,
    I just wanted to let you know that there is a lot of people (myself included) who look up to you for motivation to, in spite what you’re going through, always look on the bright side and achieve your dreams. You have been a true inspiration and really touched me and, in a way, pushed me to think more positively. You know who you are, you are sincere and defend fiercely what you stand for, and these are truly admirable qualities . There are a lot of us who are inspired by the work you do, so just keep your head up and smile to that minority which is too blind to see all the good in you.


  22. Hannah 1st September 2015 / 10:45 am

    I never normally comment on blog posts but I have to say I have been reading your blog for a while now (as well as following you on Instagram and YouTube) and you come across as such a genuine, lovely person! It is a pleasure reading your blog and you are a true inspiration.

    Keep up the good work and I hope you win the BlogLovin award xxx

  23. Laura Blair 1st September 2015 / 2:21 pm

    The more the haters the better you’re doing in life x

  24. Beth Stokes 1st September 2015 / 3:15 pm

    I think a lot of people (me included) can look back and think that they weren’t always the ‘nicest person’, but that’s what makes us human. We grow up and we learn from things and that makes us better people! People who write hateful posts aren’t people who’s opinions matter – I think you come across as a really lovely person, and I follow you on all social channels… Keep doing what you’re doing, there are thousands of people out there following you, so you’re clearly doing something right! Keep smiling 😀

    Beth x

  25. Jade 1st September 2015 / 9:03 pm

    I came back to blogging recently after a six month hiatus and one of the reason I left was because I was scared of the criticism I could face. I never experienced hate on forums, but one of my tweets did end up on GG (I only saw it when I googled my blog name!) and I almost had a panic attack before I even knew what was posted. Luckily it was nothing, but your post has helped me realise that the problem they have isn’t with you, but with themselves. It’s very sad that others, especially female bloggers, talk trash about fellow bloggers. You are right to be proud of your success. Your blog is one of my favourites and I hate to think that others talk down about you. Thank you for this post. It is truly inspiring to me xoxox

  26. NINA 2nd September 2015 / 7:03 am

    I’ve just stumbled across your blog and blogs in general and I love your refreshing take on some more serious topics (not to mention awesome fashion and style). It’s a funny thing about life but what others say reflects on THEIR view of the world. Wayne Dyer (the motivational and spiritual guru) died yesterday and his last post was that if you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out because that is what is inside. Duh. If YOU are squeezed, reflection, thoughtfulness and a desire to be better comes out. Says it all. I LOVE your posts and as a busy mum I read them at 1am in the morning and hope you win big at the awards. Keep shining!

  27. jenny 2nd September 2015 / 3:07 pm

    It’s horrible to think these forms actually exist! How people have the time to write such vile things is beyond me! I think your beautiful and love your sense of style. It’s always upsetting to see hurtful comments but at the end of the day your doing what you love and that’s all that matters in the end! xx

    http://www.krystelcouture.com ?

  28. Laura 3rd September 2015 / 1:39 pm

    Hi Lydia, I agree with Jen Flower above. I think you don’t need to re-evaluate anything or even bother writing about it.
    In theory everybody is entitled to write whatever they please about whoever they please as long as they have a computer and an internet connection, like I and you do.
    In practice, all people who write negative things about others are just a small minority, just because, think about it, who wants to hear the same old bs about how somebody looks like or do. This minority exists everywhere in society, not only in blogosphere, and they are generally considered a statistical “necessity”- to make us the majority look better when we fall under Gauss’s bell curve 🙂
    The conclusion is to not live your life for the minority who hates you, but for the majority who loves you. Just be happy, all else is noise.

  29. Rhia 7th September 2015 / 6:20 pm

    Who cares about keyboard warriors?! If people aren’t willing to tell you to your face what they can write to strangers on the internet, then they have serious character flaws!!
    On a side note, I’m moving to Watford soon and cannot WAIT to find The End and buy gorgeous clothing like yours :3

    Love x

  30. Mia 10th September 2015 / 3:53 pm

    I’m a little shocked that you get hater forums since you seem to be the coolest person on earth!
    I’m not like you, at all I might add 😉 , but I’m so in love with your way to live and share and look and talk and what ever!
    You are amazing!

    There are two things that always help me, when there is somebody talking bad about me:

    What sissi says about susi, says more about sisse than about susi!


    They just say these bad things, because they don’t want others to like you!

    -Well because they think you are great and they can’t handle it!

    Keep inspiring!


  31. Lauren 26th September 2015 / 4:08 pm

    I just wanted to say that there is absolutely no reason for you to reevaluate who you used to be and compare her with who you are now. We all do what we want to do at the time, and we all change and grow and experience new things as we get older. That doesn’t give anyone the right to remark on this negatively! Xx

  32. Rowan | R E D R E I D I N G H O O D 9th October 2015 / 10:25 pm

    Oh Lydia, I’m so proud of you for being able to turn something negative into something positive. If I may say, you seem like a very nice (and gorgeous) person. So if someone feels the need to write awful stuff about you, he/she is just jealous. I’m sure about that!

    Keep doing what you do so well, I love your blog!


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