What I’ve learnt about Love & Relationships


With the season of Love almost upon us I often find myself looking back over relationships passed, the good, the bad and the down right disastrous. I find myself looking back not with regret, but with pride on how much I’ve learnt, how far I’ve come and how I realised that life is simply not a fairy tale.

Prince Charming

Like most girls my favourite films as a child were The Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast and Snow White. These films taught me a lot about love before it had even become a factor in my life. A girl falls in love with a boy and the boy sweeps her off her feet. Fast forward to the year 8 disco where Tom, an boy from the year above, asked me out as a joke, I quickly realised realised that it might not be as simple as the fairy tales made out. Not every boy was going to sweep me off my feet, not every boy was going to respect me and I had to be smart enough to sniff them out before I got caught up in their smoke and mirrors.

As I experienced different types of relationships throughout my teens it became apparent that, unfortunately Prince Charming is a fairy tale himself. He doesn’t ride a white horse unless by horse you mean a Renault 5 GT turbo and he definitely isn’t going to sweep you off your feet.

But from dating not so great guys I managed to build my own realistic ideal of who my Prince Charming really was, He had respect for me as a Woman whether I was stood in front of him or on the other side of the world. He may not carry a sword but he packs some pretty impressive morals and he might not have had to rescue me from a burning tower but he would be there to hold me up when I might not be strong enough to do it on my own.



Am I gonna hurl? Or am I excited? Butterflies! They are one of the most confusing feelings I’ve ever experienced and that confusion, did I like them? did I hate them? Lead me into a weird addiction that I had to kick in my early 20’s. I believed that relationships were built upon their presence and once they were gone so was the love. I found myself in heart racing and toxic relationships where we would be screaming at each other in one breath and telling one another we loved each other the next. Those relationships broke me as a person, leaving me so insecure I was unable to make eye contact. I made a promise to myself that I would never put myself through that again.

I learnt that butterflies are wonderful and exciting, and although they fade, they do return every so often when you least expect it, as a little reminder of those cripplingly strong emotions you felt for the person in the beginning. But in their absence, a feeling of security, calm and happiness prevails which I am now so very thankful for.


Heart Break

I was 15 the first time I felt my heart break. I couldn’t understand how I could feel something so strong and yet he felt nothing, how those feelings of his had just disappeared despite him pursing me for months to win my heart. It took me two years to move on but I never really dealt with it and it came to a head many years later.

I kept finding myself in this heart broken state where I simply couldn’t deal with the void relationships left behind. After a particularly bad break-up I moved to Northampton to live with my Dad, bless him, I don’t think he was prepared for a heart broken 19 year old. But he did great and his advice as stayed with me ever since, teaching me how to deal, cope and move on to the next chapter.

I remember him finding me crying at the dining table of their old Georgian town house, I had thought everyone was asleep. I will never forget his next words because in that moment I took control of my heart.


“Lydia, you cannot control how he feels about you, you cannot control how he treated you and you cannot control what he does here on out, but what you can control is how you feel, how you allow yourself to be treated and what you do from this moment forward.”


The next day I found myself three jobs and throwing myself into building a little life for myself planning my first Summer exploring the world. I realised that I only needed myself to be happy and whoever I share my life with will share a part of that, he won’t be the fundamental factor in it. I moved on, I grew stronger and I took control.



As I grew up I became fiercely independent, I probably took things a little too far and pushed some people away. But I never wanted to depend on anyone. I wanted to do it all on my own and I gave it my best shot but whether I liked to admit it or not I welcomed the support of my partner and probably wouldn’t be here typing this post if I hadn’t had it. I’d never had someone who truly believed in me and wanted to support me. As hard as I know it must be to live with someone who never stops working he never puts me in a situation where I feel I can’t. He understands why I’m awake at the computer at 2am or why I’m always on my phone but he also understands why I do it and why I need to do it for myself.

It took me a while to realised that accept support, and also giving support, is not a sign of a persons weakness. In fact it shows the limits with which you are willing to push yourself, right until you can’t do it all on your own anymore.


So in hind sight I think I’m not doing too bad after all..


  1. McKenzie 1st February 2016 / 7:37 am

    “Someday my prince will come” was a quote I looked up to as a little girl. But I definitely agree with you that it’s okay to create a realistic ideal of someone who is worth it in the end. xo

    McKenzie | therosynook.com

  2. Leonie 1st February 2016 / 8:33 am

    I know 100% what you mean about the heartbreak as I had a similar experience myself. I think sometimes it just one of those life events you will never quite understand.

    Leonie ? Lo On The Go

  3. Lilia | Lily Like 1st February 2016 / 8:33 am

    Great post Lydia and exactly what I needed! I’ve always been a relationship kind of girl, but after my last one ended badly I’ve been single for a year. It’s hard, but at the same time I can finally focus on myself and reflect on my past. xo

  4. Adele 1st February 2016 / 9:29 am

    So loved reading this Lydia. Heartbreaks especially at a young age really do feel like the end of the world! Fab photos too.
    Hugs Adele xoxo

  5. ella 1st February 2016 / 10:22 am

    It’s definitely important to not rely on another person to make you happy-great advice thanks!

    Ella xx


  6. Hollie 1st February 2016 / 11:30 am

    So much love for you Lydia xoxo

  7. Jane 1st February 2016 / 12:36 pm

    I think this is one of your best post yet, Lydia. Loved it. ??

  8. Jane 1st February 2016 / 12:37 pm

    Sorry ?? Was meant to be a heart!! Don’t know what happened there!!!

  9. Soph 1st February 2016 / 1:35 pm

    I love your dads quote and am currently going through a 19-year-old heart break and this post really helped me realise that I won’t feel like this forever. So thank you, this post made someone think positively!


  10. Lucy 1st February 2016 / 5:17 pm

    I think this is my favourite post you have ever written! I have had my fair share of heartbreak and it did leave me really unhappy, but taught me that I won’t be happy with anyone else until I am happy with myself. I think you are proof that good things come to not only those who wait, but those who work their socks off. x

  11. Another Ranting Reader 1st February 2016 / 7:51 pm

    This is a great, honest post. So many valuable lessons here and your dad’s quote is brilliant!

    Jemima x

  12. Robyn Taylor 1st February 2016 / 8:41 pm

    Love this post, it’s so honest! We often forget that everyone always has these issues in their pasts and it’s one thing a lot of us have in common – being heartbroken! I’m so glad you have Ali though, when you find that supportive person it’s just the best feeling in the world!

    Robyn / Phases Of Robyn

  13. Aimee 2nd February 2016 / 4:52 am

    Your father is such a wise man…and your tenacity and drive to succeed as a woman and as a partner is inspiring!

  14. Tashi Skervin 2nd February 2016 / 9:42 am

    Such a wonderful read and beautiful words from your father, one of your best posts yet xxx

  15. Mimi 2nd February 2016 / 8:13 pm

    I love the quote “you have to go through many frogs before finding your Prince Charming”. When the right one comes, you just know it! I’ve been with my significant other for nearly 4 years now, and I can definitely when the you find the right one, butterflies still flutter even after years.

  16. Emma 3rd February 2016 / 10:25 am

    Thank you for this! I got emotional about this post you wrote something honest and real very beautifully.

  17. Arianeille 3rd February 2016 / 1:19 pm

    Wow, this post made me speechless. I always thought I was the only one who experienced heart breaks so badly. I thought I was overreacting and didn’t allow myself to feel so bad and messed up. This post made me see that I’m not the only one who felt so bad and your fathers words do me good as well. Thank you for sharing this, I really feel stronger and more confident. I love this.

  18. SassyInTheCity 3rd February 2016 / 6:46 pm

    I love this post.
    You’re so lucky to have someone who supports you and doesn’t get irritated at your late night working (and I know you know that) … I’ve seen so many vlogs with bored or angry boyfriends in the background and heard so many boyfriends annoyed at having to take photos… Wonderful post xx

  19. Cat 5th February 2016 / 1:41 pm

    What a beautifully written post 🙂

  20. Laura 5th February 2016 / 3:24 pm

    Love this post, so honest. I remember my dad having to work out how to deal with me at 19 when my boyfriend of two years ended the relationship. He didn’t know what to say so his solution was to buy me chocolate cake. It helped!

  21. Annelise 11th February 2016 / 10:46 pm

    You know, I love your posts. I love how candid you are and how effortlessly you tell your story. Thank you.

  22. LindaLibraLoca 12th February 2016 / 8:55 am

    The first heart break was really, really hard, and I felt like I would never get over it, but I learned to move on and take care of myself. I guess it is a lesson we all have to learn, just like the one that the people we love aren’t immortal and always there.
    Your father seems like a very kind an caring man.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

  23. Lisa 15th February 2016 / 11:50 am

    “Those relationships broke me as a person, leaving me so insecure I was unable to make eye contact. I made a promise to myself that I would never put myself through that again.” – This sentence pierced right thorugh my heart, having gone through this exact emotion not too long ago. I am literally so scarred from my last relationship that, whenever I look at harmonic, functioning couples, I cannot help but wonder, “Is this actually possible?”. Hopefully, I’ll find someone who will teach me better.

    Lisa x

  24. Tiffani 23rd March 2016 / 3:33 pm

    A very geniuine and honest post. Thanks for sharing your personal life with us! I love reading your posts.

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