WHITE SPACE – Learning how to breath after anxiety

a_9 a_8 Honesty, it’s a difficult one isn’t it. How honest is too honest? How much is too much? How real is too real? These are questions which I ask myself often as I sit with my knees pressed to my chest in front of my big computer screen, writing the latest instalment of my life for all the internet to see. But I feel like I made this pact with you all when I started writing here, a pact that I would always be me, the real me. Blogging continues to change so much with so many glamorous opportunities presenting themselves which are exciting and totally not from a walk of life that I come from. I’m just me, and sometimes that is not that glamorous at all.

Admitting to myself that I wasn’t OK was hard enough, but admitting it to you guys was near impossible. I don’t consider myself particularly courageous but even I look back sometimes and think “fair play Lydia!”. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, sure, there appears to be this “trend” amongst bloggers at the moment where everyone and their dog is suffering from some form of panic/anxiety/depression related disorder. I’ve got to say that a Trend this is not. These disorders effect so many people, so many more than you can even comprehend and we are simply moving within a community that tend to be a lot more open and vocal about it, which really is the most wonderful thing. It’s a subject which presents it’s self more and more when I converse with other bloggers.

The biggest change for me came when I walked through the doors of The White Space Studio in Stony Stratford. I took off my shoes and placed them in the shoe rack, I waited in the beautiful reception with shelves bursting with incense, herbal teas and Madeline Shaw cookery books. I took in the smells before walking up to what would be the first Hatha Yoga class on my road to recovery. I would rush there from my desk, stressed to the backs of my eyeballs and I would begin the class with my breathing and heart running at 100 miles per hour.

I’ll never forget the day our instructor made us lay on our backs telling us to simply breathe, breathe deep, breathe long and breathe slow. She talked us through every breath and we lay there for what seemed like hours, to the point where I thought “am I really paying for this?”. In truth it was between 5 and 10 minutes maximum, but it suddenly dawned on me that my heart was beating calmly, my breath was normal and that frantic panic inside me was subdued. I held onto that feeling, I still hold onto that feeling because in those few minutes of breathing they gave me back my hope that I could over-come this.

It’s now almost a year since I first walked through the old monastery doors of The White Space Studio and whenever I sense that familiar feeling of panic within my chest, I simply breath, I breath deep, I breath long and I breath slow.


All imagery was taken on theOlympus PEN E-PL7 & 45mm lens at The White Space Studio, Stony Stratford.

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Leggings – Sweaty Betty     Vest – Sweaty Betty     Top – Sweaty Betty     Yoga Mat – Sweaty Betty     Studio Wraps – Nike


  1. Carrie 22nd October 2015 / 7:52 am


    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 12:50 pm

      <3 <3 <3

  2. Danielle Lee 22nd October 2015 / 9:36 am

    Lydia you look amazing! It’s crazy how much ‘just’ breathing can help. There’s so much to be said for simply taking an hour out of a busy schedule to focus on your body and mind.


    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:00 pm

      It made the difference between me letting it consume me and me beating it!x

  3. Adele 22nd October 2015 / 9:53 am

    I’ve practiced yoga for a few years now & it’s amazing how breath control & exercise can really help. I also suffer with depression & anxiety & yoga has helped me immensely.
    Hugs Adele xoxo

    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:02 pm

      Awww Adele I am so happy to hear that it helps you too 🙂 x

    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:02 pm

      Thank you so much!!! <3

  4. suzannebarclay 22nd October 2015 / 10:13 am

    Gosh never knew that existed in stoney, will def check it out next time I’m home xx

    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:03 pm

      I know it is honestly beautiful please go!x

  5. Laura 22nd October 2015 / 12:03 pm

    This is a wonderful post which touches on something I believe needs to be spoken about A LOT more than what it does. Anxiety is something that is closely linked with depression causing darker feelings than simply feeling nervous as most people think. xx

    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:04 pm

      Hey Laura it was funny because even my partner Ali said to me “It seems like a lot of bloggers suffer from it!” and I was like I KNOW thats because ALOT of people suffer from it!! It shouldnt be hushed!x

    • lydia 23rd October 2015 / 1:13 pm

      I know its a powerful tool! x

  6. Lutetia Flaviae 22nd October 2015 / 10:50 pm

    This was very nice to read. I really enjoy your more personal posts! I need to find time for yoga every day again! It’s so important!

  7. Jules 22nd October 2015 / 11:11 pm

    Thank you so much for this article, beautiful and full of truth.
    You seriously are an amazing person, so inspiring, i adore your personality, and I find your articles to be so calming, and peaceful (if that means anything …)

    Lots of love,
    Jules xxx

  8. Lala Lu 23rd October 2015 / 7:52 am

    A nice post! But I think all your posts are great. You inspire me soooo much! Would you maybe do something like a “Room Tour”? So only if it’s not too private! So I do not mean your whole house or anything, but so few nice corners maybe. I love your blog and your Instagram! And especially your Snapschat 😀 You seem so personable, funny and always cheerful. 🙂

  9. AMBER 23rd October 2015 / 8:04 am

    I couldn’t agree more with the “trend” aspect you talked about. I see it all the time on youtube videos when girls discuss their anxiety struggles and people will comment something along the lines of how this girl is just jumping on the bandwagon of having anxiety. But, the truth is, the amount of girls on blogs and youtube really shouldn’t surprise us. Of course there are outgoing bloggers out there but many of us turn to these outlets because of our anxieties. We turn to the blank page of the internet or we turn to a lifeless camera because we feel safer and calmer doing it.

    Gorgeously well written post Lydia and point well made.

  10. Madison 23rd October 2015 / 5:02 pm

    Love ur workout more and more … by the way u look so beaut … and so excited for next post my BFF blogger cox

    • Madison 23rd October 2015 / 5:04 pm

      Sorry I’m not want to say “cox” , just xxx

  11. Kelly 24th October 2015 / 3:40 pm

    Love those studio wraps from Nike! I need to look into those for pilates.

    Gorgeous post! I’ve been a ‘yogi’ since 7th grade– and so I typically practice on my own. But, about once a month I go to a class and the act of an instructor talking you through your breathing is miraculously amazing. It sounds so ‘basic’, but really is a big help. One suggestion for making time for it on your own, the ‘Calm’ or ‘Headspace’ apps are great for this. They ask you to sit in a meditation stance, but I prefer to lay on my yoga mat. Amazing!

    xoxo – Kelly

  12. Ellie 27th October 2015 / 2:45 pm

    This is so strange Lydia, I’ve been following your blog for a little while (although not reading it properly clearly!) and had no idea you were a Bucks girl too!! I absolutely love Whitespace, such wonderful teachers and its an amazing space to practice in. I am a yoga teacher, teaching in Buckingham at the moment, so don’t get down to Whitespeace to actually take classes as much as I’d like to… but who knows, maybe i’ll bump into you next time I’m there 🙂

    Loving these shots, and I’m so glad yoga has helped you so much!

    E xx

  13. Sakina 4th November 2015 / 6:40 am

    I loved this post! It was short but so beautifully phrased! I wish I could attend classes like you did, nevertheless if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from the short stay I’ve spent reading through your posts, is its better to stop wishing and ‘do’ and ‘try’ rather than sit back, because it won’t help.

    This inspired me a lot, so thank you for sharing and I look forward to reading more from you (:

    Lots of love from a new reader, xo

  14. Jayla 27th December 2015 / 5:51 am

    I didn’t think in any stretch of imagination that yoga would benefit when I’m feeling tense b/c its such a threadbare saying to say just chill, BUT this blog really clears the fog and yoga is a daily requisite for me ! Your so gorgeous Lydia love your posts xx

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