meditation & me.

It’s amazing how responsibility creeps up on you. It seems like only yesterday I was day drinking before lectures at Northampton University, sleeping in until half past whenever the hell I want and spending my entire student loan on Mulberry handbags, posh bottles of wine and an apartment most people with full time jobs couldn’t afford. Truth be told it was only 2 years ago. But here I am earning a wage, paying a mortgage and cohabiting with someone who doesn’t require a separate shelf in the fridge. Nothing has ever shaken me quite like the realisation that I now have responsibilities, like if I don’t pay something be it a bill or a direct debit it actually matters. Not like at university where you knew a relative somewhere would pick up the bill, all in the name of education. I reached a point where I couldn’t sleep, and when I say couldn’t I mean it became a physical inability. My eyes would not close and stay closed, the natural lull right before you sleep never came and my mind raced and raced no matter how many sheep I counted. My heart would pound out of my chest and an over baring sense of panic would ensue, I heard panic attacks could last a few hours but these bad boys lasted days. Sometimes it felt like I was just living with the panic which might I add, is not living at all.   Quite a few friends suggested I tried meditation, in fact it was rather an alarming number of them. Which memo did I miss that explained this was no longer just for hippies? After digging a little deeper I soon realised that everyone was at it, from celebrities to Supermodels even my PT was doing it. I was […]